Alt Title: Tortilla Tour Buzzfeed List Post
I've tried 7 different Spanish tortillas around Logroño. Well, seven that I have photographed. Here's my ranking of each of them from worst to best.
7. Porto Vecchio Tortilla
Tortilla Talk: Anyone who has eaten this tortilla might agree that it is nothing to write home about. In truth, its ranking as absolute last comes because our official quest on this evening was to try La Tizona's award-winning tortilla, but they laughed in our faces for showing up at 8:15PM asking for slices, and this was the first place we found nearby willing to serve us up some egg potato pie. It was fine. Side note, I think this is the only place I've eaten ketchup in this country.
6. Teacher's Lounge Tortilla
[no photo here because my hands were full of tortilla and my lost pride]
Tortilla Talk: Imagine eating birthday tortilla in the sala de profes. It's one of your first tastes of tortilla, ever. You're eating standing up, using a piece of bread as both your napkin and your plate. Imagine a crowd of coworkers you do not yet know but really hope to impress. Then, visualize tortilla on you. Tortilla on the worksheets. Tortilla on everything. Sounds a bit contraintuitivo, no? Well, count me one to dare. Only ranked not last because it had zucchini and hence was delicious, and I *think* I've rebounded with my colleagues since then.
5. Mercadona Grocery Store Tortilla
Tortilla Talk: I bought a heat-and-serve tortilla on the day we had to move all of our heavy suitcases from Casco Antiguo to our temporary Airbnb near my school in 90-degree full sun. I believe this tortilla was a resuscitation device. Have you ever seen a tortilla and thought, wow, I could use that on a turkey sandwich in place of cheese? If you have, this tortilla is for you. Dense, salty. A glow-up. Points docked, however, for being store-bought.
4. La Tizona Tortilla
Tortilla Talk: Mr. Tizona (read: actually Señor Olabuenaga) is pretty darn famous around here after being named ganador del Campeonato de España de Tortilla de Patatas (Championship of Spain of Tortilla de Patatas) in late September of this year. I returned with a friend promptly at 11AM on a Sunday (first in line!) to try this tortilla and was disenchanted by the runniness. I know that is a sign of a "good" and gourmet tortilla to many Spaniards (eggsellence, if you will), but it meant that I, as an American, just tasted slightly undercooked sliced potatoes layered with runny egg yolk. It no longer felt like a cohesive dish. Potato-egg ratio seemed much lighter on potato. Putting it in the middle because it was pretty flavorful, but still not over the chunkiness.
3. La Concordia Tortilla
Tortilla Talk: Fine, hice trampa (I cheated). After I admitted I wasn't a huge fan of La Tizona's, my friend told me I must try La Concordia's, for it's almost equally famous. But I walked in on a rainy Wednesday, famished after my first grade lessons at school, saw the vibrant pimienta dulce tortilla glittering at me like a birthday cake through the window, and simply had to pick that one. It was obviously flavorful and wonderful. Don't stop reading yet, though: I DID scrape the pepper off of a few bites and I can confidently say the naked tortilla was equally delicious.
2. Beer Runners' Tortilla
Tortilla Talk: After running five miles in the rain with very speedy Spaniards, absolutely NOTHING can eclipse a toothpick taste (or two or three or six) of tortilla featuring a caña con limón to swig it down. The. best. recovery meal. This very well may be the same grocery store tortilla I've been eating, but the context alone brings it close to the top.
1. La Serenella Tortilla
Tortilla Talk: If you give a Texas girl a slice of tortilla with visible caramelized onions and something that resembles salsa verde on the side...you win. I really couldn't ask anything more of a humble slice of tortilla. A little runny, yes, but ultra crisp at on the top and the bottom. Flaky salt. This was the Goldilocks effect. Just right. We ate this tortilla after dealing with the mediocre-at-best slices from Porto Vecchio, so it was a welcome treat. I wanted so much more. IMO, at least, THIS is one tortilla to rule them all.
Disclaimer: I would like to formally acknowledge my lack of qualification in publishing my opinion on this topic. As an American who has only sampled a handful of tortillas in her life, and who hardly knew what a proper tortilla was before she ate one on a street in Madrid out of pure desperation, let me close this post by heartening all of you American readers to continue thinking that I am very cultured for investigating the nuances of this dish, allowing all of my Spanish friends to laugh at my blatantly American preferences for how my eggs are cooked, and heartily encouraging you to get out there and try a tortilla for yourself.
Want to learn more about tortilla? Here's a link I found & like: "What You Have to Know About Spanish Omelettes"
Note: This post is very loosely based on this Buzzfeed one about cereals. I did borrow a bit of language from Parker and Zamora, and I recommend you read their article for a wild ride, too.
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